When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.” Acts 8:18-19.

“I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.” John 5:30.

“O righteous Father, although the world has not known You, yet I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me; and I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.” When Jesus had spoken these words, He went forth with His disciples…” John 17: 25-26, 18:1.

And continuing our 351 Old Testament prophecies, promises of God, fulfilled in Jesus Christ, we come to number 101: He was hated without a cause. Psalm 35:19: Do not let those who are wrongfully my enemies rejoice over me; nor let those who hate me without cause wink maliciously. And, John 15:25: “But they have done this to fulfill the word that is written in their Law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.’”

In the first Scripture verse cited above, what a difference between Simon who wanted to buy the Holy Spirit, to Jesus who sought always to do the will of the Father. Jesus went forth always to do the Father’s will. This morning in You Are the Beloved by Henri Nouwen, I loved this prayer he shared by Charles de Foucauld: “Father, I abandon myself into Your hands, do with me what You will. Whatever You may do, I thank you; I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures. I wish no more than this, O LORD. Into Your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to You with all the love of my heart, for I love You, LORD, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into Your hands without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for You are my Father.”

What is it we need to experience in our own deepest parts of us before we can come to see how much we need Creator God – Father, Son, Spirit? Before we can trust that His love is good and His desire is for our good always? For me this morning it was coming to Him in prayer and feeling so utterly empty and surrounded by nothing. He showed me my need to control everything is leaving me empty. There is nothing left after all has been expended that I can do. And He was there with me. I realized that the same stiffness my body feels in aging is how my spirit feels after 72 years of trying to control everything, and I long for the simplicity I knew as a child who loved Jesus so much I wanted to be with Him then. I’ve become so afraid of everything failing – for me and for those I love and indeed – for our whole world, that it’s spilling over into every situation I pray about; and it’s spilling over into my trusting God. And that leaves me so afraid. I don’t want to stay in that awful emptiness. Everything in this fallen world that needs to fail will fail, and I can’t control anything. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 26:28-30. I realized I fear the worst always and I need His help to let go and leave all of that to Him because He went forth to do the Father’s good will to save us and He is the only One who IS worthy and able. That is everything! When I am focused on the negative I can’t see the good that God is doing right now. That’s why the words of de Foucauld resonated so much within me…Let only Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures. I trust His will and His love and His goodness for me and for all of us and for all of His creatures dearly loved. I may feel despair from all I can’t control but I know hope in all He can.

***CARE O Good Shepherd, seek me out, and bring me home to Your fold again. Deal favorably with me according to Your good pleasure till I may dwell in Thy house all the days of my life and praise You forever and ever with those who are there. Jerome of Stridon (c. AD 347-420).***