…praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit. Ephesians 6:18.

…having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus. Hebrews 10:19.

I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ. Philemon 1:6.

Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

And continuing our 351 Old Testament prophecies, promises of God, we come to number 20: Unto Him shall the obedience of the people be. Genesis 49:10: The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until Shiloh comes, and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples. And, John 10:16: I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd.

I feel like I’ve been running a race for a very long time. But there are times like now when I feel that I’m running but not getting anywhere and I know I’m running on empty. You can read Scripture many times. You can read devotionals. You can read theology. And you can feel your inner “wheels” spinning without traction. And the rut we can fall into that is deep? Anger.

In reading today’s excerpt from You Are the Beloved by Henri Nouwen, he wrote: “John Eudes talked about that moment, that point, that lies before comparison, before the beginning of the vicious cycle or the self-fulfilling prophecy. That is the moment, point, or place where meditation can enter in. It is the moment to stop reading, speaking, socializing, and to “waste” your time in meditation. When you find your mind competing again, you might plan an “empty time” of meditation, in this way interrupting the vicious cycle of your ruminations and entering into the depth of your own soul. There you can be with Him who was before you came, who loved you before you could love, and has given you your own self before you could love, and has given you your own self before any comparison was possible. In meditation we can come to the affirmation that we are not created by other people but by God, that we are not judged by how we compare with others but by how we fulfill the will of God.” In the note at the end of the page it said that John Eudes was Henri’s spiritual advisor.

I think what we all need is a Spiritual advisor and the One to go deep with us is the Holy Spirit. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. John 16:13. I need Him to enter into the depth of my soul because I don’t know how. I need to let go and be still with Him.

I started this blog because I wanted and needed to share all that I was learning about God and His love for us because when we start walking with Him we find hope that does not come from this world and it is affirming and good and so needed. But I feel like I have come to a standstill inwardly and need time with Him and I’m not sure how or what that means even after all these years of learning and growing in faith. I keep seeing Him on a beautiful path. I see me in a cavernous inner place. I trust Him.