This mornings blog doesn’t follow my usual pattern of reading a chapter in my Bible, my devotionals and my private conversations with God in prayer. This morning I had my 3 month flexsigmoidoscopy to ensure a polyp remains gone. This has been going on since 2019 in varying stretches of time for this one stubborn polyp and even with the wonderful news all looks well…see you in 6 months…my body hasn’t gotten that good news yet.

So while I fixed breakfast, badly needed as my body was telling me, I kept thinking of the above verse. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9.

It’s difficult to begin to appreciate the full impact of that verse when our body is humming along on all cylinders and doing what it was designed to do in optimal working order. It’s difficult to fully appreciate that when we are strong whether in our work life, our personal health, relationships, life events. So what does that mean for me and for you? For me, coming face to face with aging and with a potential for not wonderful news with each check, I feel weak. I feel so tired. I keep fighting to find that physical equilibrium of normalcy for me and sometimes it feels like bits of solid ground are slipping away.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

I want to let go of my illusion of power. I want to admit, finally, that I cannot control. I want to trust my Creator God for everything and that includes me and my colon.

Lord, help me understand. I googled grace and found this among many offerings: The Bible Dictionary puts it this way: “The main idea of the word {grace} is divine means of help or strength…Grace is an enabling power” (“Grace”). It enables the recipient to do and to be what he or she cannot do and cannot be if left to his or her own means. That hit home! That I understand. God’s grace working in me does what I cannot do if left to my own means. On my own means I’m my own worst enemy and give in to fear for the worst possible outcome. Thankfully, He understands.

Lord, I don’t want to be left alone. I want to be led by You. I want to follow You as You lead me. Thank you for Your grace, so sufficient for me in my weakness. You are perfect and I trust You for all of me. Thank You for so great a love always. I will keep my eyes on You, my heart tuned to Your words for me, to Your grace that truly helps me every time unfailingly. Because I’m learning I can trust You no matter the outcome and that is Your power made perfect in all my weaknesses.