I keep having that thought bubbling up within me. Do you remember being a child and doing something wrong and you knew you were going to get into trouble and you wished with all your heart that you hadn’t done what you did? You were caught. I wish I could say that only happened when I was a child. My first wish always, even as an adult, is if only I could take that back.

I knew as a child I would be punished and I remember my Dad always saying, this is going to hurt me more than you. I never understood that until I became a parent myself.

One thing I am beginning to learn and grasp is that I am a sinner. Me. In beginning to embrace that reality, I realize I am no different…no better…no worse…than every other human being…every other sinner. I think the reason we secretly relish when others are exposed for all the world to see is that we can think we’re not so bad after all….even as we sin.

What I’m also beginning to grasp is that I am a forgiven sinner. Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s….he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. Psalm 103:1-5,10.

When I have caused harm to someone, I know that I need to go to them and make it right. It’s not a comfortable place to be in but if I want our relationship to be restored, I know what I need to do. Healing can take place when I admit I have done wrong.

In my relationship with God, what is needed is faith and trust that what He says is true. Jesus tells us…I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Can you imagine? Rejoicing? I’m learning to imagine just that and believe.

When I’m sitting quietly with God in prayer and feel His love filling me it’s like a drop of pure sunshine. His love feels like no other love. Pure cleansing sunshine and so fresh.

One of my favorite verses is Numbers 6:24-26. The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

One day Jesus, our Lord and Savior, will turn His face to each one of us. When His eyes lock with yours and mine there will be no need for fear. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17

Are we truly forgiven? Do we want to be? Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:26-26.

We are forgiven for our sins because God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus, who gave His life willingly for us on the cross. He is the resurrection and the life. Turn to Him…He’s already there.