God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things – and the things that are not – to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God – that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:28-31.

I realized something this morning and that was not from me. Whenever a new concept enters gently into my soul, it takes time to grow to understanding. To be loved by Creator God – Father…Son…Spirit…and to love Him, is to let go of what is not for us. What is for us? To love God and let His love for us free us to be with Him. In My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, he wrote this, “But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him “to Jerusalem” (Luke 18:31). And that will mean the fulfillment of purposes which He does not discuss with you.” And this, “We do not know what God’s compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him…the most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack.” I thought about my self-sufficiency as I sat in prayer and it felt like boulders I was carrying behind me and the straps were digging into my shoulders. And the “under attack” part Chambers talked about? That’s me. Wanting to hold onto Self-righteousness, Self-importance, knowing God’s will as though it’s my own will and not His. Boulders all. I remember my love for God as a child who was wanting to go live with Him right now. It was exciting! I am that child. I want to let go of all my boulders and be that child with Him now! Can you see Him smiling? I can!

And our chapter? Proverbs 20 brings me back down to the practical understanding we need in this life we live now. The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out…Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?…The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them…Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin?”…Ears that hear and eyes that see – the Lord has made them both…A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand their own way?…The human spirit is the lamp of the Lord that sheds light on one’s inmost being…v. 5, 6, 7, 9, 12, 24, 27.

Just because a concept enters my heart doesn’t mean I understand it fully. Understanding takes time and refining and asking God to help me grasp what it is He wants me to understand. That’s where Scripture is helpful. Nuggets of gold given that we may grow closer to His truth given in His love for us. It’s not my job to save anyone. It’s my blessing to follow the One who can.