In writing this blog I wanted to share with you my own journey of faith toward God…of taking His hand as He leads me to Him. I had told Him yesterday in prayer that there are times when I am sitting quietly in solitude and silence so I can be with Him that I experience a disorientation. Almost like a startling feeling of being all alone. It can feel like a yawning chasm and I’m standing on the brink because I don’t know what’s ahead but the chasm is right behind me. Have you ever felt that when you are trying to connect with God? We see the world all around us, we live in this world and it’s solid and sure. We know it…we see it and can touch it. When we yearn for closeness with God and decide to try new practices that enable us to be in communion with Him, we quickly experience the vast difference between what is solid, known and touchable and…quiet. We wonder very quickly if He’s there…really there and will He be with us in a tangible way.

Reading from Jesus Calling was this reference scripture: For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you’. Isaiah 41:13 NLT.

This morning in prayer I brought that worry to Him again because I don’t want anything hidden from Him. He told me that I’m afraid of falling into nothingness. That stopped me! I know He’s real, how can I fear nothingness? He went on…Nothingness does not exist. I am.

When I think about the great people of faith they can seem larger than life. Yet they, too, experienced doubts and didn’t see the way forward, but they stepped forward anyway. I thought about my faith and how it can seem so strong one minute and teeter on the brink of “nothingness” in an instant.

I realized that by myself I can do nothing. I’m like that flashlight when you turn it on and the battery is almost out and you get this feeble light that illuminates nothing. And you glance back and the chasm is there. Then I read His word filled with His love and concern for each of us and there it is…For I hold you by your right hand – God holds us by our right hand…and reassures us Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

Do you remember the story of Jesus and the disciples in the boat during the storm? A furious squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat and Jesus was asleep. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. Mark 4:38-39. The wind died down and it was completely calm…and then Jesus said, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” verse 40.

I think about the difference between what we can see and what we can’t. I’m reminded of the Indiana Jones movie when Indiana had to get to the opening in the mountain across from him so he could save his Dad and a chasm was before him and his Dad reminded him…faith, son. As soon as he took that step of faith, granted with his eyes closed, there was solid ground and he was able to throw some dirt ahead of him and verify with what was seen, the dirt, what was not seen without it.

I want so much to step out in faith with God leading me and He promises me…Do not fear; I will help you. As I’m learning to trust Him I’m learning there is no such thing as Nothingness. God is there.